Guy in a Bear Suit

boom goes the web redemption

check out the ads that pop up on the scorer's table during the pickup game.

 

Tosh.0
Tags: Tosh.0 Videos,Daniel Tosh,Web Redemption

hot chicks

good morning. 

what the fuck is going on with these?

 
 
 

good day, sir!

is christian morality psychopathic?

"if you wake up tomorrow morning, thinking that saying a few latin words over your pancakes is gonna turn them into the body of elvis presley, you have lost your mind.  but if you think more or less the same thing about a cracker and the body of jesus, you're just a catholic". 

 

if you are reading this, you were not raptured

well saturday came and went without earthquakes and all the zombies crawling out of their graves all thriller style before ascending to the heavens.  (as an aside, why is heaven assumed to be "up" regardless of where you are on earth?  let's say heaven is directly above the US.  if someone died in china, would they first have to go around the world before going up?)

the whole thing got me thinking though.  this crazy old dude did some math based on that inerrant word of god called the bible and came up with may 21, 2011 as the end of the world and everyone outside of his church laughed and made jokes.  many of these jokers were christian, distancing themselves from such an absurd notion. 

but if you're christian, you believe that the rapture will indeed happen one day.  the bible lays it out.  so why was may 21 scoffed at?  why couldn't it happen that day?  is it because the bible says that we won't know the day?  other than that, there is nothing crazy about what this dude was predicting if you're a christian. 

i wonder how he felt sunday morning.  i wonder how people who gave him money felt sunday morning.  i wonder how the world feels, knowing that randy "macho man" savage so loved the world that he gave his life to save us all.

good news?

in my opinion, hayden panettiere has a hot little body and one of the prettiest faces in hollywood.  her only setback, as far as i'm concerned, is that if you painted her blue, your dirty sex talk would be along the lines of, "i wanna put my smurf all in your smurf and then smurf you all night long". 

but today's good news is that she broke up with paul bunyan yesterday.  well actually it was the boxer, wladimir klitschko, who is 46 feet tall and four axe handles wide.

this is how they look together:

 

very much like a ukrainian gulliver and a hot american lilliputian.  i half expect to see her get her other little people friends and tie him to the ground with their ropes. 

what's always been so puzzling to me about their coupledom (couplehood?  coupleness?) is the question of how he fucks her without causing severe internal trauma.  i would imagine she gets bruised lungs every time he plunges his drago stick up in there.  i would be willing to bet he could crack her collarbones by coming up from the bottom.

to illustrate, go to a hardware or crafts store and purchase their thinnest dowel rod.  then take a common nail and attempt to nail it in the end of the dowel, so that the nail is being pushed along the length of the wood.  see how the wood just splits as the rock hard nail penetrates it? 

yeah, i would bet her nether regions look like someone put a firecracker in a ziplock bag of roast beef when he's done with her.

and with that lovely visual, i'll bid you a happy friday the 13th.  

 

sweet fancy moses

first of all, hannah fucking montana should not attempt this song.  i wish the ghost of kurt cobain would find his deer rifle and invite her into a certain greenhouse over the garage.

secondly, love the mashup with elaine.  i remember jerry or george said elaine's dancing was like a "full body dry heave set to music".  perfectly applies to what miley is doing.  either that or she's having a seizure and a member of her band should tackle her and make sure she doesn't swallow her tongue.

but i bet if you asked her, she'd say, "i think that's......a-pretty cool".