so probably everyone has heard about jesus tebowchrist's anti-abortion ad that will air during the super bowl on sunday. i wish they'd run this one instead:
my friend molly called tebow "the abortion that lived", which was very funny to me.
i think i'm going to dress as him next halloween. i'll paint some fake tears on my face and stick a coat hanger in the side of my head.
anyway, if you are a female and are in the unenviable state of (1) being pregnant by an abusive relative or rapist, (2) are a crackhead and know that you'll only end up selling the baby for more crack, or (3) are a retarded teenager who will place the baby in a dumpster and then go on about your texting, sexting, carefree day, don't despair; for st. tebow the immaculate and his mother will raise the baby for you.
just send it to them via fedex, no strings. pope tebow will put bible verses eye black on the infant and will raise it to peak at the age of 22.
of course i'm kidding. abort the sucker with great haste. more abortions and more executions equal shorter lines and more parking for me.
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