holy tits

i know a pretty fair number of christian girls who have breast implants.  that always seems like a contradiction to me, but i could be wrong. 

if god's plan for you (christians love to tell you about god's plans - usually when something horrible has happened) was a splendid DD rack, wouldn't he have just installed them at the factory instead of forcing you to pay thousands to get them bolted on?

it makes me ask the question, what would jesus do with big ass titties?  i think he'd bury his bearded face in them and deliver the mightiest of motorboats unto the girl.  he would smite the areola and ask for seconds.

then matthew, mark, luke, and john would be all, "hey JC, how were they?  were they built for speed or for comfort?  did you motorboat 'em?  you motorboatin' son of a bitch, you old sailor".

if i remember my scripture correctly, god's word is as follows: "if thine smallish titties offend thee, stuff them full of silicon or saline and wear low cut shirts".

of course, i'm not complaining.

Comments

[Ezekial's Dry Bone]

You may very well have presented the most compelling argument ever for me to retract my lack of faith and return to the house of the holy...

[Beth Gore Rasmussen]

Okay, fine.........that one had me laughing so hard I almost cried!