one of the many perks of being on zoloft is having a very even keel when it comes to emotion. i think a misconception held by people not on any anti depression drugs is that it robs you of any emotion and turns you into a zombie, devoid of passion for anything.
well that part isn't true, but it certainly does keep you at an emotional level similar to everyone else. depression is NOT the point of this entry, as i don't have any desire to go down that path in any great detail, but my point is that i very rarely cry anymore.
however, there are three songs (at least that's all i can think of right now) that i cannot make it through without tearing up at a minimum or sobbing at the max. they are:
1. the last song - elton john - it doesn't get any sadder than this song. i don't get more than 10 seconds into it before i get that heavy/full feeling around my eyes. by the chorus, i'm a little girl who has lost her puppy. i mean, come on dude, the guy has AIDS, is scared and dying, and his father, whom he thought didn't love him anymore, is taking care of him. i have a severe emotional weakness for anything father/son related and this is the tear-jerking mount everest of that topic.
if this song doesn't move you, your heart is three sizes too small and most likely made of stone. sadness scale - 10 out of 10 tears
2. the promise - tracy chapman - such a sweet little song, from the opening guitar and violin (i think?) intro. she's singing about a love where the relationship has ended for one reason or another. it's not necessarily a romantic relationship though and the tone is one of longing without any desperation or anger, which is what keeps it above most love songs.
in essence, she's saying, i still think about everything about you and if you still want me and want to return to me, i promise to be there for you. i always think of this song in terms of familial loved ones and it gets me every time, even though i first heard it probably 14 years ago. sadness scale - 8 out of 10 tears
3. i can only imagine - mercy me - this is a religious song, which is obviously at odds with my personal beliefs. however, if you put that aside, the music is very moving. i don't really want to get into why it's on my list and where i was exposed to it the first time, but suffice it to say that when i hear the first piano notes, it still makes my heart sink. when the larger orchestra and drums come in about a minute and a half in, it turns and becomes uplifting rather than sad.
but that first verse still leaves me with a physical reaction and lump in my throat. sadness scale - (first 90 seconds) 10 out of 10 tears (after that) 2 out of 10 tears
a few other honorable mentions:
- everybody hurts - REM
- that i would be good - alanis morissette
- weekend in new england - barry manilow - yes, barry manilow. fuck you.
if you're ever needing to stiffle a laugh in a meeting or at some other Serious Business time, think of any of these songs. but just in moderation. prolonged exposure will lead to waterworks for sure.
you know, i was actually doing relatively well the last few days until you mentioned 'the promise' and i *had* to download it and i knew all the words i had forgotten and then pretty much just fell apart from there.
thanks. fucker.
Posted by: kri | August 11, 2009 at 07:24 PM