INT. THE AFTERLIFE - MID AFTERNOON.
FARRAH FAWCETT enters a soothing-looking room, looking tired but relieved and relaxed and still beautiful. She sits down heavily on a plush couch and looks around the room at the other souls, who appear to be excited that she is among them.
an AFTERLIFE ADMINISTRATOR stands at the ready in the corner. there are monitors all around the room, showing various scenes on earth.
FARRAH - hey everyone. thanks for welcoming me today.
MAN - wow, farrah fawcett. i had that poster of you on my wall.
FARRAH - (laughing kindly) oh gosh. yes, it was very popular back then.
WOMAN - (scooting closer on the couch) - i loved you in the burning bed. so....gritty and real.
FARRAH - thank you so much. that's very nice of you to say.
MAN - we've been watching you the last few months. sorry your ending had to be so painful and drawn out.
FARRAH - yes, i guess it was. but i'm here now. i just want to relax and reflect on my life.
AFTERLIFE ADMINISTRATOR - ms. fawcett, if you'll look at monitor #1, you'll see the outpouring of love by your fans on earth. and just right there on monitor #12 you're all over the news. top story on every tv station and web site.
FARRAH - wow, that's something, huh? i feel a little bad about knocking ed mcmahon off the news though. he was a nice man. but i guess after all i dealt with, it's somewhat nice to see that i'll be missed.
MAN - oh ed mcmahon is fine. he was just in here this morning, but took off when he found out about you. he wanted to let you be the center of attention this week.
FARRAH - how nice. is it wrong that i'll actually enjoy being the center of attention one last time?
WOMAN - oh, not at all. you've earned it, i think.
they all watch the monitors as news anchors report about her life and death. FARRAH is soaking it all in, enjoying the affection. the afternoon passes pleasantly.
suddenly a commotion breaks out just outside the room. administrators are rushing this way and that, and other souls are clearly on edge.
FARRAH - what's going on?
MAN - um, there's a breaking story. check out monitors 3, 4, and 8.
on the monitors are stories about michael jackson's collapse and death.
FARRAH - did that say michael jackson? THE michael jackson?
WOMAN - i'm afraid so.
FARRAH - he died?
MAN - looks that way.
FARRAH - today? he died just now? just hours after me?
WOMAN - (looking down) yeah.
FARRAH - you've got to be fucking kidding me.
MAN - what?
FARRAH - so i'm done, huh? knocked right the fuck off the news.
the man and woman move slowly away from FARRAH. they are uncomfortable and unsure what to say.
FARRAH - i got to be the lead story for what, twelve minutes? i had FUCKING ASS CANCER! there was a special on tv about it after those dickheads at the enquirer leaked shit! and now that wee-wee diddling, jesus juice drinking freakshow gets to come along and be the top dog for the next who knows how long? fuck this shit!
AFTERLIFE ADMINISTRATOR - i'm sorry ms. fawcett, but we have another room for you just off this hall and towards the back. we'll be needing the space here in a minute.
FARRAH - fuck you and fuck bubbles the chimp! mama say, mama saw, ma-ma ku suck my fucking dick!
FARRAH gets up off the couch and flips it over by lifting the front. she is irrate as she storms toward the room's exit. just as she is to the door, MICHAEL JACKSON comes through, wearing a surgical mask and followed by a throng of souls, all trying to touch him.
MICHAEL JACKSON - hi farrah. i really loved your work.
FARRAH - fuck off, you fucking alien faced circus animal! i hope baby blanket dies of ass cancer!
michael is stunned, but the rest of the room doesn't even hear or notice farrah. she leaves and michael shrugs before sitting on the couch. he sees a small boy across the room. he smiles wide, pats his lap and says,
MICHAEL JACKSON - hey little boy, come sit on my lap.
FADE TO BLACK
brilliant.
Posted by: kri | June 26, 2009 at 10:01 AM
Who died and made you the King of Pop?! (too soon?)
Posted by: Jeff | June 26, 2009 at 10:41 AM
Hopefully he doesn't get too lonely and start praying for a Macaulay Caulkin overdose...At least we know the gloved one is in no danger of posthumously contracting Farrah's anal warts...
Posted by: Ezekial's Dry Bone | June 30, 2009 at 06:26 PM