jesus is just not that into you

i always find it funny when athletes, actors, musicians or whomever thank god after winning something.  mainly because it begs the question of what god thought about the other team/actors/musicians.  did he just not like them as much?

my question is why doesn't god get the blame when you lose?  i would LOVE to see that in a postgame interview.

everyone who follows the nfl knows that kurt warner is a religious nutcase.  if my wishes came true, his postgame interview would have gone something like this:

NBC: kurt, tell us your thoughts on tonight's game, specifically your performance.

KURT WARNER (KW):  well, it's obvious that god didn't uphold his end of the bargain today.  i mean, we did all we could as a team, but god just didn't want us to win, no matter how hard we tried to thwart his will.

NBC: ummmm.  ok.  can you talk about that interception just before the half?

KW: yeah, god totally fucked that one up.  i was trying to squeeze it in there, but god delivered the ball unto the goddamn steelers.

NBC:  kurt, we're live here.  if you could just...

KW:  i don't really know what his fucking problem is.  i mean, is TWENTY FUCKING HOURS OF PRAYER A DAY PLUS MENTIONING HIS  NAME IN EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN INTERVIEW THESE LAST TWO WEEKS NOT ENOUGH?  huh?  you can't expect me to believe that retarded ben roethlisberger or that fucking pagan polamalu has put in the jesus hours like i have.  god was supposed to show his glory through a cardinals win today, but he obviously doesn't give TWO FUCKING SHITS ABOUT ME!  i guess i can understand it, considering he HUNG HIS OWN FUCKING SON OUT TO DRY ABOUT TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO!  same deal here.  FUCK!

NBC:  (stunned silence)

KW:  (shaking fist to the sky)  if that's the way it's gonna be god, i'm gonna start coveting my neighbors wife.  hell, i might even tit fuck her.  i'm gonna start hitting the bars with leinart and see where that goes.  and after that, i'm gonna desecrate my flesh with a bitchin tasmanian devil tattoo.  what do you think of that shit?  i'm done with your ass, god.  fuck  you.

NBC:  back to you, al and john.

Comments

[Beth]

I'm praying for you, Mark......SERIOUSLY, my brotha!!! lol