a one act play.
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INT. EVENING.
JOHNNY, a five year-old, sits at the dinner table with his MOMMY, a thirty-ish attractive woman.
JOHNNY - mommy, i don't like daniel any more.
MOMMY - why not, honey?
JOHNNY - well, he brought candy to school in his lunch today.
MOMMY - um, ok. is that all?
JOHNNY - yes. mommy, we're not a'pposed to eat candy.
MOMMY - well did the teacher take it away?
JOHNNY - no. he could eat it. i just mean we're not a'pposed to eat candy, right mommy?
MOMMY - oh, yes. right. in this house, we don't eat candy because it rots our teeth gives us a tummy ache. you're exactly right.
JOHNNY - that's why i don't like daniel. he was eating candy.
MOMMY - but sweety, i thought daniel was your best friend? did he do anything wrong to you? was he acting mean?
JOHNNY - no mommy. he's very nice to me. he's the nicest boy in class. but we're not a'pposed to eat candy, so i can't be his friend.
MOMMY - but johnny, that's our rule. maybe the rules are different at daniel's house. daniel only has to follow the rules at his own house.
JOHNNY - but mommy, candy is bad. i went to the teacher and told her that daniel shouldn't be allowed to go to recess or story time.
MOMMY - johnny, that's not very nice. why did you do that?
JOHNNY - because recess is for good boys and girls. people who eat candy aren't good boys and girls.
MOMMY - but johnny, i told you; that's what we believe in this house. daniel and his mommy might have a different arrangement. so it's not bad for him. do you see?
JOHNNY - i think so. but it's still wrong.
MOMMY - (thinking) johnny, did you want some of his candy?
JOHNNY - no mommy! i'm a good boy!
MOMMY - well if you didn't want any candy, why did it matter to you if daniel had some? why would you want to make him miss recess just because he didn't agree with you about the candy?
JOHNNY - because wrong is wrong.
MOMMY - well, johnny, last week you threw your friend's toys and wouldn't eat your vegetables at lunch, remember? so you were being bad. do you think you should miss recess for being bad like that?
JOHNNY - (searching for an answer) welllll, that's different. candy is different.
MOMMY - tell you what johnny, you just focus on being the best boy you can be and follow the rules that you and i have agreed on, and let daniel and his mommy worry about him. it's not really our place to put our beliefs on daniel.
JOHNNY - ok mommy.
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now i've made it very clear that i don't believe in god, but for those of you that do, which of those characters' positions do you think jesus would be more closely aligned with on the subject of gay marriage? the stubborn little boy or the mother?
for some reason, i was thinking about this for a while yesterday. i think it started when i saw one of those fucking retarded "marriage = one man + one woman" bumper stickers.
i think it's perfect casting because religious fuckwads who hate gays have about the same level of logic and reasoning that a five year-old has. the main difference between my parable and real life is that johnny accepts his mom's answer at the end. bigots who hide behind religion would never be that open-minded.
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