kind of an old story, but my wife and i were talking about this place with another couple on saturday night.
now i've never been to a swingers club, but my general impression of swingers and nudists is that they're mostly disgusting fat walruses and/or old wrinkly people. the people who you maybe wouldn't mind watching play nude volleyball or have an orgy with are never the ones putting their flesh out there for public consumption.
starting with that assumption, even the most pristine swingers club would be vile to me. it could have mattresses fit for royalty, with high thread count sheets and plush comforters, marble countertops upon which only the top brand of liquors were served by a gentleman in a tuxedo, and be cleaned top to bottom every 15 minutes by the strongest antibacterial soap known to man and it wouldn't offset the steaming mass of fuckpigs that frequent those places.
the part that really got me wasn't the used underwear hanging from the ceiling or the sheets not being changed (which are both fucked up really) but instead involved the hot tub. if you read all the way down the article, it mentions "tepid hot tub water" which "...isn't chemically treated". i get fucking skeevy chills just typing that.
further down, it talks about some joker named "jim", who is evidently responsible for skimming the top of the hot tub after people fuck in it. oh my god. this dude might have one of the worst five jobs i've ever heard of. do you think on his resume it says "cum skimmer"? jim the cum skimmer must wake up every morning wishing things would somehow turn around and that today was just maybe the day he could pass that job onto an apprentice cum skimmer and perhaps move up to "lube boy" or "first assistant stain remover". cause you know what? skimming cum ain't no way to live, man.
as an aside, i can't imagine that the skimmer does a very good job of removing what needs to be removed anyway. i honest to god shudder when i try to picture what that scene must look like.
but alas, no amount of wishing by jim will change the fact that this dude's job involves skimming cum and god knows what else out of a disease infested filthy sewer of mankind. it really makes me ask other questions though. did he have to provide his own skimmer when he applied for the job? did he have to demonstrate his technique to his prospective employer? if so, did they just jizz all in the hot tub and say, "all right, let's see what you can do with that?" or did they maybe just squirt lotion in there as a substitute? does jim sit there against the wall, holding on to his skimmer and having long ago lost the hold on his pride, waiting for someone to skeet skeet all in his water? is the semen removal gig something that he can use later, like maybe in the porn industry, making this just an entry-level stepping stone? is he really just a fucking horny voyeur and this was the only way in the club?
i don't know the answers to any of those, but i know one thing; we should all go forth today and be happy that whatever it is you're doing, at least you're not jim and your job doesn't involve the half assed removal of body fluids from a fucktank being used by some of the least attractive people to ever rub their genitals together.
That's F'n hilarious dude!!! What a job...You think he takes a little taste of it now and then, just for grins :-)
Nasty!!!
Posted by: Ben Maikell | August 27, 2008 at 02:13 PM