last night i was roughhousing on the floor with my two boys and my dog when my dog stepped on my nutsack. he's not big, but he was jumping around and put most of his 40+ lbs weight on my babymakers. needless to say, it hurt.
we quit playing immediately and went upstairs for the boys' bath time. about five minutes later, i started feeling nauseous and couldn't figure out why. i guess it had been so long since i'd been racked that i forgot about the sick feeling that follows.
good thing i've already fathered children because that shit hurt and it actually makes them ache a bit just typing this.
that reminds me of two incidents involving my ballbag, neither one for the squeamish.
(1) one time in college, a girlfriend and i were changing clothes to go swimming at my apt. pool when she snapped a towel at my naked backside. the towel went up and under and whipped me in the balls. after i finished beating her ass like she stole something, we went swimming. later, we were um, intimate, and when i took the condom off, my baby batter contained a wee bit of blood. nice. since she felt guilty, i made her do it again. you know, just to check. this time, everything was clear.
(2) while playing softball when i was around 19, i took a shot off the right nut. just the right one. i came out of the game and tried to tough it out in the dugout, but finally relented and went in search of ice. upon securing the ice, i went to the men's room to ice my damaged ball down and was horrified to find it swollen to roughly three times the size of the left one. on the one hand, it was cool to have a giant ball, like some kind of bizarre johnny dangerously clip (anyone remember that movie?), but on the other hand, i was afraid it would have to be cut off. i went to the doctor the next day to make sure the plumbing was ok and everything checked out.
i think elaine from seinfeld was on to something when she said, "i don't know how you guys walk around with those things". they're great to have and everything, but they can get you into all kinds of trouble, physical and otherwise.