Guy in a Bear Suit

great idea

six flags will start selling beer.

if you're not familiar, six flags is an amusement park with roller coasters and all that.   there is one in arlington, texas, where it tends to get a wee bit warm in the summer.

i completely understand from a marketing standpoint, because do you know who loves amusement parks?  rednecks.  shirtless rednecks.  and the amusement park lover circle definitely overlaps the people who like beer circle in the redneck venn diagram.

however, when doing a further mathematical study, i've come up with the following:

rednecks + beer + 112 degrees + dehydration + roller coasters = lots 'o vomit

not to mention the fact that there are a lot of children around.  children who will undoubtedly have to witness a fist fight when one drunk redneck dad cuts in line at the shock wave in front of another drunk redneck dad.   there probably isn't a lot more scarring to a child than watching his or her father get his ass beat by a dude sporting a mullet and a farmer's tan who started the fight by saying, "HEY, NO FUCKING CUTS, BROSEPH".

should make for a pleasant summer for all the employees of six flags.

heck the dalls

it's ok to be a stumbling drunk in december when you're dealing with job stress (year-end and new system issues) as well as a constantly sick child, right?  right?

huh

some lady has these boots on at work today. 

again, i don't know women's fashion, but the thought bubble over my head as i stood behind her in line in the cafeteria said, "what the fuck are those doing at work?"

they made her look like a fur trapper who only hunts care bears. 

something i'd like to see

because i'm morbid, i always scan the obituaries in the newspaper.

just once, instead of saying that so-and-so "went home to the lord", i'd like to see them post something like this about an evil person who died;

"mr. johnson, 56, a miserable fuck of a man, was pulled kicking and screaming down to hell yesterday when he was run over by a cement mixer.  johnson, a noted philanderer and pederast, is at last in the hateful embrace of satan.  in lieu of flowers, please piss on his grave."