yeah, it's been a while. i'll just say it's tough to keep an updated blog when you're not interesting.
but i found the nugget below on kissing suzy kolber, which is one of my favorite websites.
basically it's a totally rad 80s video with steroid monkey and future brain tumor recipient, lyle alzado (future from his 1984 POV, not now. he's dead.) and he's doing some seriously fucking heavy lifting, bro. he's shredding his shoulders and traps. brofist! up top!
and of course by "seriously heavy lifting", i mean milk cartons. you know, something that you lift every day to soften up your cocoa puffs.
obviously i'm not doubting the dude's strength. all you have to do is look at him to realize that he probably eats 500 grams of protein a day and shits 45 lb weight plates, which he then proceeds to load up on a bar and bench press his solid iron feces.
but regardless, he's lifting milk. and he's going to approach the "weights" with a warlike attitude. i've not once had a warlike attitude while holding 128 fl oz of calcium and vitamin D. maybe he's using whole milk though. i prefer skim.
it looks like the dudes behind him are also going big (rather than going home, which is the instruction i received from an equally large juicehead's t-shirt at the gym the other day). they appear to be lifting flashlights. that's how you get massive, bro.
so last night i followed his lead and went to the gym with 2 gallons of milk. chocolate, since it's more delicious. in addition, i had a few 15.5 oz bottles of yoohoo for the lighter reps. i also brought a wheel of cheese to use later for some ab work. then i dumped a few spoonfulls of cottage cheese into my shoes to work my calves a bit more. i figure dairy is dairy, right?
i got a few stares at the front desk and those continued as i approached my warzone with the "weights". unfortunately during the first sortie of the battle, i clipped the cap of one gallon on a nearby machine during a tricep extention and a full 50% of my weights spilled all over the goddamn floor. needless to say i wasn't the most popular member in the free weight section at that moment. while gym management was dragging me away through a massive puddle of chocolate milk, i was screaming about the battle not being won and i might have even thrown out a few "remember the alamo"s.
i was able to re-rack the other gallon and the yoohoo though. never know when someone else will want to get pumped on cow juice.