i often find myself telling people that even though i don't know her, i'm certain that gwyneth paltrow is a pretentious cunt.
those people sometimes ask, "why do you think such horrible things about our national treasure who is married to the lead singer of a not-at-all whiny pussbag band?"
well, here you go. i'd like to submit exhibits alpha, bravo, and charlie to the court.
apparently someone who for some unknown reason thought anyone gave a baker's fuck asked her to list some things she couldn't do without. this is what she had to say.
most people would list things like my tivo, or my favorite shoes, or the realdoll with the velvet lined fuckhole that is my current girlfriend and also allows me to ride in the HOV lane during rush hour.
but not our gwynny.
i wish kevin spacey had really cut her head off and put it in the box (WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?!) for that courier to deliver to brad pitt. then he could have wrapped the box in handpainted wallpaper and spray painted "CUNT'S HEAD" on the top.
have a nice weekend.
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